I am thankful that I can’t read the minds of others. Think about all that noise! With as much as people talk, can you imagine what’s going on in their brains? Frankly, people drive me crazy most of the time. The last thing I want is to hear them thinking too.
On the flip side, I am thankful that other people can’t read my mind. Many times, I am not thinking nice things. There are times I am stabbing my eyeball out with a pencil when someone is talking to me. Other times, I am making my grocery list. I would really have to behave myself if people could tell what was going on in my head.
I am thankful for turtles. They bring me joy. I don’t know why, but they do.
I am thankful for bras. That’s a weird thing to be thankful for, but if I didn’t have to wear a bra, I would never know the relief of releasing the hooks at the end of the day. Besides that, there are some women out there who really need to wear them in the interest of public safety. (You know who you are, so I won’t name names.)
I am thankful for mystery shopping. If I hadn’t been brave enough to answer an ad almost 20 years ago, I would have never tasted the food at the nicest steak house in Tampa (since I would never go there if I had to pay for it!). I’m pretty sure my life would not be complete without a coffee crusted filet mignon. And the bread…don’t get me started on the bread. (Maybe I shouldn’t blog when I’m hungry.)
I am thankful for floss. (Not the underwear variety – no woman is thankful for that.) I can’t stand the feeling of food stuck between my teeth, and I’m glad someone thought of the idea of string to get it out.
I am thankful my dog can’t talk. He is by my side all the time. If he talked, I would never get a moment’s peace.
I am thankful for my sense of humor. Some people seem like they don’t have one. I can’t imagine living life so seriously. If I couldn’t laugh at my mess ups, I would go crazy. My life is full of mess ups.
I am thankful for comfortable socks. Those of you who have sensory issues probably understand this totally. The rest of you just think I’m just weird. The truth is, I have socks that I refer to as, “the angry socks.” They stay in my drawer most of the time, but when I wear them, they make me angry. Why do I still have them? On days when the laundry has not been done, they are my spare pair. However, every time I wear them, I am angry for the day. They just don’t feel right, and they make me mad.
I am thankful for fat. I know, I know. You find that hard to believe, but it’s true. While I would like to get rid of some of this fat, it does have its benefits. Fat fills in wrinkles. If I lost weight, my face would probably look like an elephant's butt!
So on that note, I will go prepare food for tomorrow so I can add to my wrinkle-reducer. I hope you all have a very merry Thanksgiving and a joyous Black Friday! -Al