What we had was a failure to communicate.  It all started last night when we checked into the hotel near the airport.  I had been saying all day that the shuttle to the airport ran every half hour.  Then, Mr. Everything checked us in and came back to the car.  I could have sworn he said the shuttle ran every half hour.  He says he didn’t.  Who knows who’s right?  (I do, but I won’t push the issue.) 

As we were figuring out last night what time we should get up, we planned to leave at 7:00 AM.  I asked why we needed to leave so early when we were 5 minutes away from the airport, but he said we did.  He’s always right, so I just went with it.  Then, this morning, we measured out luggage to see what would have to be checked.  (I know, you’re wondering why we didn’t do this before we left home, but that’s just how we roll.)  Once we realized that my suitcase couldn’t go as a carry-on because of one fateful inch, we had to reconfigure how everything was packed.  We had to put some of the Mister’s clothes in my bag and some in his carry-on and the same with mine.  That way, if my bag went to Peru instead of Jamaica, at least I wouldn’t have to go naked.  NOBODY wants to see that, I can assure you.

So, all this took time, but I didn’t panic.  I knew that if we missed the 7:00 shuttle, we would be just fine with the 7:30.  We went down to get breakfast, and the 7:00 shuttle was just pulling out of the parking lot.  Mr. E said, “There goes our shuttle.”  I told him that we had no worries because we always could fall back on the 7:30.  He said he didn’t think there was a 7:30.  Um.  What??  I said of course there was a 7:30, and he said he didn’t think so.  I’m not sure why he did not share this little nugget of knowledge with me an hour earlier.  Maybe he did; I don’t know, but I didn’t hear him.  We went to the front desk and asked if there was a 7:30 shuttle.  The man behind the desk said the shuttle only ran hourly.  I wanted to know what kind of retarded system that was, but I decided to refrain from asking. 

So, here we were, in the lobby at 7:00, when we should have been on the shuttle.  For many couples, that would be the end of their day and maybe even the vacation.  At the very least, mom and dad would have an angry exchange and play the blame game.  But, that’s not how the Not-So-Average Family operates.  Instead, Mr. E (being the wonderful man he is) did not blame me or fuss at me.  He just said, “Okay?  Now what?”  My response, because this is always my response, was, “It is what it is.”  I find that this is a phrase that fits every situation in life.  You should try saying it.  It will make you feel better.  Without arguing or even exchanging dirty looks, we decided we would get breakfast quickly.  Then, Mr. E would drive us over to the airport and drop us off.  We would get the luggage checked in while he drove back to the hotel, parked the car and caught the 8:00 shuttle.  So, we shifted into action and prodded the kids along.  The Beetle, being the Beetle, didn’t eat anything.  You see, just about everything was touching fruit, near fruit or involving fruit.  The only things that did not have fruit were mushy, gooey or not what he liked.  So, he had a cup of milk.  Hmm…That will help a growing boy to sustain life.  The Goose ate a little, and we kept telling her to hurry up.  That poor child’s entire life consists of us telling her to hurry up.  She has got to be the slowest moving child ever.

After our delicious and nutritious breakfast, we threw the luggage into the suburban and drove to the airport.  I prayed the entire way.  I was not sure Mr. E’s happy attitude and grace toward me would last if we missed the flight.  He’s only close to and not quite perfect, you see.  Our plan went off without a hitch (Praise the Lord!).  We got checked in and waited for Mr. Everything.  He arrived quickly, and we went to security. 

At security, the lines were not bad (again, Thanks God!).  The passengers moved with a glazed look as they went through the X-Ray machines.  This poor old lady had to be patted down because she had a knee brace.  Bless her heart, as they asked her to step to the side so they could check her, she began taking off her shirt.  Talk about being compliant!  They quickly told her that would not be necessary, but not before both kids were exposed to her wrinkles.  The Goose is still having a shiver down her spine every time she thinks about what she saw, and I’m pretty sure the Beetle will not want to see a naked woman again for a very long time.

We made it to the plane and got checked in.  Our wait was not long, and we were on our way to Miami for the next leg of our trip.     -Al




02/16/2017 8:14am

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