I do some of my best thinking in the morning.  Scratch that.  I do none of my best thinking in the morning.  Actually, I don’t do much thinking at all in the morning.  I don’t know why it is, but I am not a morning person.  I just can’t function.  Sometimes, I’ll do my editing work in the morning, and I am always amazed at the mistakes I made. Their stupid. (See what I mean?)

I prefer to live my life in the afternoon and evening.  It’s just happier that way.  My best friend, Willow, is the same way.  Right out of college, she managed to get a job that allowed her to sleep in the mornings and work in the afternoon and evening.  Smart girl.

Not me.  Oh, no.  I married a morning person.  Actually, he’s an all-day person; he is Mr. Everything, you know.  He can function on 4 hours of sleep with no problem at all, and he wakes up ready to go.  Unfortunately, he wants me to go with him.  Ugh.

Lately, we have been walking.  Our goal is to make it down the dirt road to the river.  It’s about 2 miles down there, which means 4 miles round trip.  There is never a time that I am motivated to make this walk, but in the morning, no thank you very much.  He convinced me to get up early this morning so we could walk and get back in time for breakfast in the dining hall at the camp where we live.  There was food involved, so I decided to give it a try.  We woke up at 7:00.  In the morning.  AM.  I know, right?

On our walk, we ended up seeing 14 deer.  You would think that would motivate me to wake up early every morning.  You would be wrong.  I have pictures of the deer.  How ‘bout I just look at those around 3:30 in the afternoon?

So, we were on our walk, also known as the Great Horsefly Race.  Nothing motivates me to move faster like those big nasty horseflies we encounter every time we head to the river.  They are as big as hummingbirds.  Okay.  Maybe they aren’t that big, but this is my story.  I’ll tell it how I want.

Anywho, I have decided that we are the Dynamic Duo in the Great Horsefly Race.  I stand still and let them land on me, and Mr. Everything smacks them with his hat.  We are truly a match made in heaven.

The road that we are walking on seems like it is uphill the whole way to the river.  I pant and groan as we go.  Mr. E grabs my hand and acts like he is pulling me.  I’m sure we’re quite a sight.  The first time we walked this way, I was amazed at how many hills there were.  I just kept reassuring myself that the walk back to the house would be better since it would all be downhill.  Boy, was I wrong.  Somehow, this road is uphill both ways.  Now, if there were only snow, I’d have a story to tell.

When we walk, I have Mr. E set his watch for half way.  We are adding 5 minutes every day until we reach the river.  Today, we walked 45 minutes.  (We were at 45 minutes last week, but we took a few days off.  One step forward, two steps back.)  At 22.5 minutes, his alarm sounded, and we turned to head back.  (I wouldn’t want to put in an extra 15 seconds, you know.)  As we were walking, Mr. E said, “Breakfast starts in 5 minutes.”  I barely sped up.  I didn’t really care if I made it for breakfast or not.  Then, he said the words I needed to hear: “I think they are having pancakes….”

We made great time getting back to the house.  Actually, we made it in 2 minutes less than it took us to walk the first half.  I went in, attempted to dry my face, realized I was soaked from head to toe and the paper towel wasn’t working and headed toward the mess hall.  (As a side note here, no one ever seems to want to sit by me at breakfast.  Why do you think that is?)

We got our plates and stepped up for breakfast.  The cooks gave us eggs, cheese grits, sausage and toast.  There were no pancakes.  The man lied to me to get me to walk faster.

This method may have worked once for him, but never again.  Shame on him for fabricating pancakes.  There’s wrong and then there’s really wrong.  He did the unforgivable.  Tomorrow, when he is trying to get me up that last hill, he’s going to have to come up with something better.   There better be at least donuts involved.

Just from walking for a week, Mr. Everything already looks like he has lost more weight.  He just says the word “diet” and the pounds drop off.  I, however, had to loosen my belt today.  He says maybe I’m just building muscle.  I’m building something, alright.

So, now, my motivating factors for getting up early to walk again tomorrow morning are:

- Being healthy (Yeah, yeah.  Blah, blah, blah.)

- Getting to see deer (I do love the deer.)

- Possibly getting pancakes (Although the chances are not good.)

-Watching my husband get skinny while I continue to grow.

I think I’ll set the alarm for noon.     -Al



Debi Dumont
07/10/2013 12:03pm

I would secretly slip a box of pancake mix in to the kitchen with your name on it and a "please make for me" note. The look of surprise on your husband would be priceless, when you are the only one getting pancakes.

07/10/2013 12:06pm

Awesome idea! I wonder if the camp cooks would go for that??

Angela (Nunley) Vaccaro
07/10/2013 12:41pm

I did the walking everyday and eating healthy thing for a couple of months and gained weight. Someone tried to tell me I was just gaining muscle. Sorry but if muscle weights more than fat, I will pass. lol
Reminds me of the commercial where the cartoon lady and her cartoon husband are eating healthy and he looses so much weight his pants fall down and she barely looses anything.

07/10/2013 1:11pm

I love that commercial!


Your comment will be posted after it is approved.

Leave a Reply