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We always talk about how great technology is, and in a way, it is.  With technology, I can work from home.  I can know that my kid got there safely when he is driving on his own.  I can pay my bills without getting paper cuts on my tongue.  There are definite advantages to technology, but do you remember how simple life was without it?

We are always rushing to get the newest phone with the newest gadgets.  I don’t even know how to use 80% of the applications on my phone.  What’s worse is, I don’t care to know how to use them.  I just want to be able to pick up my phone and call someone.  Actually, more accurately, I want to pick up my phone and text someone or email them.  I really hate talking on the phone.

Now, with the addition of cell phones, it means people can reach me anywhere….when I’m in the bathroom, when I’m sleeping, when I’m in the car contemplating running away from home.  There is no escape, except for the fact that my phone doesn’t ring half the time.  I actually have to give people the disclaimer that, if I don’t answer, my phone did not ring and if they don’t leave a message or send me a text, I’ll never know they called.  How silly is that?  Isn’t the point of technology so that the phone can meet my needs?  Instead, I have to beg it to work correctly.

Now, in case you are thinking I need a new phone, let me tell you that this IS the new phone.  It is new enough, in fact, that I only know how to use 10% of the applications instead of 20%.  The old phone did it too, which is why I got the new phone.

I’m pretty sure I’m the problem.  I’ve heard my mother say that her father could never wear watches because his chemistry made them not work correctly.  I could be making that up, but I don’t think I am.  Anywho (Anywho…I really do like that word.  I'm goingstart saying it in public), maybe my chemistry destroys technology, because it seems like all things technological go Coo-Coo for Cocopuffs around me.

My laptop is an example of this.  I have a tiny little Acer that I love.  Really, I do.  It is like an extension of me.  I work on it constantly.  I spend more time with it than I do my own children.  (Hey, don’t judge me.  I’m doing my best here.)  Anywho (there’s that word again), it has been threatening to give up the ghost for a while now.  Sometimes, when I’m typing, the screen flickers white and grey.  I stroke the keys and tell it I love it, and so far, it has always come back to me.  My father gave me his Acer that is the twin of this one.  I’ve tried using it, but I can tell it is an imposter.  It is slower and dumber than mine.  My laptop knows me.  His does not.

Now, combine the struggling laptop with the flaky internet, and you have yourself the perfect recipe for my anger.  We live 2 miles down a dirt road, so we can’t have normal internet out here.  Oh, no.  We have Windstream, the worst internet service on the face of the earth.  I think the name is “Wind,” because it might work if the wind doesn’t blow and “Stream” because while others are getting a river of information, we can get a little stream.

I am just about on a first name basis with the Windstream repairman because he has been here so often.  Luckily, he is a really nice guy, but I’d still rather not have to see him.  I have a feeling we’ll be calling him today, because, once again, the router isn’t working.

Keep in mind that Mr. Everything used to work on computers, and he can, indeed, fix everything.  Yet, we’ve had to call the Windstream guy repeatedly.  Today’s issue is that the router seems to have gone bad.  Again.  Perhaps they should get routers that are not made of duct tape and bubble gum, and they would work longer.

Now, I’m ashamed to admit this, but nothing affects my happiness like not having internet.  I have certain expectations in life.  I expect to be able to breathe.  I expect water and food (even if it isn’t good food).  I expect air conditioning (Hey, I live in Florida!).  I expect the internet to work.  I can’t work without it, and I always have to work.  Of course, today is a busy day for work, which is why Windstream isn’t cooperating.  It knows that I am stressing out about work. In fact, I think the lights on the router are really it laughing at me for stressing out. 

As I kept trying to connect my laptop to the internet over and over and over again, all with the same result, I had to remind myself about insanity.  Do you know the definition of insanity?  It is doing the same thing over and over and over and expecting different results.  I think I’ll try connecting one more time.  If that doesn’t work, maybe I’ll try throwing the router.  Nope, it didn’t work.  Fly like the wind (stream), router!  You aren’t useful for anything else, so maybe you can fly!  I don’t heart technology.  (Not you, my little Acer.  I love you best of all.)  –Al

An update to my blog ~ Obviously, I have internet again, since I was able to post this.  This time, no visit by the Windstream guy was needed.  Too bad…he and I were going to have coffee on the porch swing together today.  Instead, Mr. Everything spoke to Windstream, and they were able to have a healing right over the phone.  I can’t tell you what was wrong with it or how it was fixed.  Mr. E told me, but I stopped listening at, “It is fixed.”  All I know is, the internet is working.  For now.


 


Comments

Julie Clouse's
08/13/2013 1:11pm

Alison, my father was like your father. He had to only wear wind up watches. His body somehow de-magnetized the batteries in other watches. :-)

Reply
06/28/2016 5:05pm

The technology is totally changed the shape of the world. But in this change not the only the technology played the role, the human beings who investment it and adopted it in every field of the life is converted this form.

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